{"id":632,"date":"2009-07-29T07:49:49","date_gmt":"2009-07-29T11:49:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stevengaffney.com\/blog\/?p=452"},"modified":"2023-03-22T10:03:43","modified_gmt":"2023-03-22T15:03:43","slug":"three-life-principles-to-beware-and-one-to-live-by","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stevengaffney.com\/three-life-principles-to-beware-and-one-to-live-by\/","title":{"rendered":"“Three Life Principles To Beware And One To Live By”"},"content":{"rendered":"
Advice. It\u2019s everywhere. Magazine covers. Morning news broadcasts. E-mail forwards. It seems everyone has some advice to give, and most of us must be looking for it, because self-help books continue to sell and those morning shows keep booking guests who offer life direction in perfect sound bites.<\/p>\n
Recently I started thinking about some of the guiding life principles that I hear repeatedly \u2013 those easy-to-remember ideas that supposedly can help guide us through our daily lives and help us make decisions. I quickly realized that if we were to fully implement many of these life principles, we wouldn\u2019t be too pleased with the results.<\/p>\n
The trouble is that these ideas get repeated so often that we fail to think critically about them, and we miss opportunities to find a life principle that can help us safely navigate our daily lives. I want to alert you to three common life principles that could cause you harm and give you one life principle that I have found to provide sound guidance. First let\u2019s look at three life principles you
\nshould watch out for.<\/p>\n
Principle 1.
\nLive in the present. It is good to enjoy the moment, and I do live by this principle \u2013 to an extent. For instance, if I\u2019m spending the day with family or friends, I try to focus on them rather than obsessing over business while I pretend to listen to them. In that way, living in the present is great advice. But the trouble is that this principle of living in the moment doesn\u2019t always offer the right perspective. How can it possibly help you make effective business decisions, career decisions, financial decisions, or family decisions? Those decisions require long- term thinking. I love McDonald\u2019s — in the moment. But afterwards McDonald\u2019s doesn\u2019t make me feel so good. Living in the moment is important, but it can make us shortsighted and cause us to choose the wrong things.<\/p>\n
Principle 2.
\nTreat others the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule. Hard to argue with, isn\u2019t it? The trouble is that we are profoundly different from one another. Treating people the way you want to be treated often only works with people who are like you. Suppose you\u2019re a meat lover and you’\u00a0re having a family of vegetarians over for dinner. Should you serve them meat? Of course not! Li f e
\ndemands that we develop greater flexibility than this principle suggests. The best leaders and managers I know have expanded their capabilities and developed the muscles to adjust to other people\u2019s styles and personalities.<\/p>\n
Principle 3.
\nTreat others the way they want to be treated. This sounds kind and loving, but sometimes what people say they want is not what\u2019s best for them. If your friend is an alcoholic and he says he wants a drink, should you give it to him? Or, to be less extreme, think about people who say they want honest feedback but in the next breath tell you that they only want feedback in a particular area or in a certain way. As I discuss in my seminars and coaching sessions, when people set conditions for honesty, it limits honesty because others will use those conditions as a reason not to be truthful. The result is missed opportunities for growth. This may be the way these people want to be treated, but that doesn\u2019t make it the best.<\/p>\n