Have you ever asked someone something and heard their answer, only to walk away and think, \u201cI don\u2019t think they ever answered my question.\u201d<\/p>\n
How many times has someone said something to you that made no sense?<\/p>\n
How often has someone said something to you that they know will bother you and send you down a diverted path?\u00a0 For example, have you confronted someone who has turned something in late? They may respond with an excuse. This response spirals the conversation down a different path because you are responding to their criticism of you, rather than the issue at hand.<\/p>\n
Welcome to the world of red herrings. A red herring is something that diverts attention from the basic issue at hand.\u00a0 In communication, a red herring throws the listener off track with phrases or comments that sound meaningful and important, but really just lead the conversation down a path of wasted time.<\/p>\n
A typical example of this is when people respond, \u201cThat\u2019s just the way I am.\u201d\u00a0 What does that mean?\u00a0 The person is predisposed or genetically wired to always do something a certain way?\u00a0 The truth is that people can do something different if they truly want to.\u00a0 Many times we don\u2019t really want to do something different \u2013 but it just doesn\u2019t sound good to say it that way.\u00a0 Therefore, we respond with what sounds like a real excuse\u2026but of course, it is really a red herring.<\/p>\n
There are three ways you can handle the Red Herring:<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ignore it and focus on the issue at hand. For example if someone says, \u201cIt\u2019s just the way I am.\u00a0 I am always late.\u201d <\/em>You reply, \u201cOK.\u00a0 Are you going to get the report to me on time by 3 p.m.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Don\u2019t allow yourself to get pulled down a dead-end road when a person uses a red herring.\u00a0 In the example, notice that there were no responses to the comment, \u201cIt\u2019s just the way I am.\u00a0 I am always late.\u201d\u00a0 There is no need to comment.\u00a0 The issue at hand is the report.\u00a0 Refocus the conversation to resolve the issue at hand.\u00a0 Repeat yourself if necessary. This technique is especially useful when people say things that they think will \u201cget your goat.\u201d Just ignore it and focus on the objective of the conversation.<\/p>\n 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Question it using the Columbo method ,\u201cI\u2019m confused.\u00a0 You said you would get the report to me by 3 p.m.\u00a0 Are you going to give it to me on time?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n 3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Use the million-dollar test. If you asked the person, \u201cIf I were able to give you a million dollars to give me the report on time, would you give it to me on time<\/em>?\u201d\u00a0 The person would likely say, \u201cWell, yes, but you don\u2019t have a million dollars<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 Your response would be, \u201cExactly.\u00a0 You could give me the report on time if you wanted to. So what\u2019s it going to take so that I can count on this report coming in on time?\u201d <\/em>In other words, it is a question of desire and commitment–not a question of ability. The truth is that most people can change just about anything if they are really willing to. The question is: Are they willing?<\/p>\n No one can throw you off track unless you allow him or her to.\u00a0 It is up to you to take control of the issues and refocus conversations.\u00a0 You can make it happen and get the results you want by ignoring the red herrings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever asked someone something and heard their answer, only to walk away and think, \u201cI don\u2019t think they ever answered my question.\u201d How many times has someone said something to you that made no sense? How often has someone said something to you that they know will bother you and send you down […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n